Communications skills were identified by almost every engineering and environmental consulting firm I surveyed in 2008/09 as a key factor in creating good working relationships among clients and staff. Communication skills were also identified as one of the most sought after skill sets these organizations wanted in both their current staff and new hires. Unfortunately they also felt that they were the hardest to find.

It was George Bernard Shaw who said ”The greatest problem with communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished.”, and it is obvious that the problem is still with us to-day.

A course in “Extension Communication” at university was the beginning of my ongoing fascination with language, communication and the power of words. Since then I’ve had ample opportunity to watch the inter-play between people in a wide variety of situations and I never fail to be amazed at how often, and how fast, things can go off track. Yet by observing closely, it is possible to see the moment that things start to go astray, and quite often it is also possible to have a pretty good idea what was behind the mis-communication.

If you want to improve your communication skills and effectiveness in the workplace, be on guard against these 12 enemies of good communication.

1.  Filtering.  We all do this – by nature certain things have greater meaning for us or more impact than others. As a result we tend to only listen for or hear information regarding these areas of interest. As for the rest of the information, it is as if it was never said. Filtering can therefor result in the loss of significant information and limit the effectiveness if the conversation.

2.  Mind Reading. This occurs when you suspect that what the other person is saying may not be true or completely accurate and you are trying to discover what is really behind what they are saying. Since this often results in making assumptions based on incomplete data, what you get from the conversation may be totally different from what was intended by the speaker.

3.  One-upmanship. People who engage in this activity are not really listening to what is said, rather they are looking for an opportunity to take over the conversation and show their ‘superiority’ in some way. An example or extreme ‘one-upmanship’ happened to me one day when recounting the difficulties I was having finding shoes for my daughter, who has very long, narrow feet. Before I even finished my sentence a colleague jumped in and recounted how she had even more difficulty than I in finding shoes for her daughter!

4.  Comparisons. When people are comparing it makes it hard for them to really listen to what is being said, since they are always trying to assess where they stand in relation to the person speaking – are they smarter, better at the task, better liked by the team, the possibilities go on and on. Unfortunately, this action not only limits good communication, it often leads to the next communication block.

5.  Judging. Whether we base our judgements on comparisons with ourselves, or what we think of as ‘right’, once made judgements limit our ability to fully hear and understand what is being said. If we judge someone as less competent than ourselves, we are unlikely to pay much attention to what they say. And if we judge someone as an ‘expert’ we quite often accept what they say without question, without considering the relevance their field of expertise has on the subject under discussion. As a result we fail to evaluate what is being said on its’ merit, the discussion is flawed and the communication process has failed.

6.  Rehearsing. You can not listen to what the other person is saying if your mind is preparing what you will say as soon as you get the opportunity. While you may be able to look interested, it is highly unlikely that you will hear and understand the significance of what the other person is saying.

7.  Day-dreaming. People can totally tune out from what is being said and miss important information because they are caught up in their own memories of the past or day-dreams of the future. This often happens when you are under the influence of one of the other communication ‘roadblocks’. For example, you may be filtering the discussion because the topic has little interest to you, or you may have made a comparison and judged the speaker as less knowledgeable than yourself, so you place little value on what they say.

8.  Inflexible Thinking. If you are unwilling to see any other perspective than your own and have become completely locked in to one viewpoint, you will be unlikely to hear what the speaker is saying since you will see no value in it. Creativity and innovation are unlikely to succeed in a workplace where this attitude is wide-spread.

9.  Holding Back. True communication can not occur if people are unwilling to participate fully. When information or ideas are withheld, it is unlikely that the optimum solution will be found.

10.  Contrarianism. While it can be useful to have someone play ‘devil’s advocate’ when developing new ideas or exploring new approaches, working with a colleague who always feels the need to take an opposing view or is stubbornly opposed to what the majority want can close down communication and result in a toxic work environment where collaboration and team work is difficult, if not impossible.

11.  The Need to be Heard. Some people always feel the need to speak up, whether they have anything of real value to add to the conversation or not. Frequently they jump in before the speaker has finished and may even waste time by asking questions about material already covered, an indication that they were not really listening. As a result, the impression they leave is more often negative than the positive.

12.  The Need to Be Right – to Score Points. The above block to good communication is often aggravated by the ‘Need to Be Right – to Score Points’, which is further complicated by ‘Mind Reading’. Communication is a two-way street, where people provide information, ask questions for clarification and explore the issue at hand. When someone has a strong need to be right, they jump in with an answer as soon as they think they have an answer to what they think the problem is. Unfortunately, they often end up solving the wrong problem and hinder further useful communication.

While there are other blocks to good communication, these were the ones I observed most often, especially in group interactions. To become a more effective communicator pay attention to how you interact with others. If you find yourself slipping into any of these 12 blocks to good communication, immediately stop what you are doing and pay attention to the other person to get your communication back on track.

©2010 Karen Switzer-Howse

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